Friday, November 16, 2012

book of wishes

I thought I’d rearrange a little.  Put some flowers in front of me.  I thought five candles would do.  A little touch of paradise when I’m not there. 

They won’t open.  They won’t open in front of me. 
Tight white balls
That remind me of the past
They remind me of Osprey Lane
When Alex came to visit and made chocolate mousse
I bought the same balls then
But my god they couldn’t help but open
Into huge magnificent worlds spinning on stems
Propped up by each other like swans in love
Like swans rushing to each other in fat fluff
In a hurry to just be.

These are so uneven, so sad
Falling into the traps of life an death
Disheveled bed-head flowers
That can’t seem to get it together
Because they’re just embarrassed
Because they’re just nude
And they’re already worth so much more
In their potential
Than if they were just easily born
On any kind of table
And I see they’re just like me.

At least ten of my mom’s babies died.  Died in front of me.
I was in line
I was waiting to be born
Waiting to be here
Then Alex came and made me chocolate mousse
I’m not sure how I keep the hope now
In four simple years
I flourished, I got stuck, I stumbled
And Jupiter won’t shine to bring these small balls
Bring them to full life
To bring them to me.

Taking myself on vacation, on a ripple
I’ll keep looking at that blurry patch
Sucking on the water
Making my heart fall
They sound the trumpets of cacophony
Clouds of nothing, occupying nothing
So near, these miracles
If I had a book of wishes
I’d ask for delivery in a hospital one day
Of these milky muppet flowers
To just sing, to just be.

I’d incite the angels of winter.  The winter in front of me.
Brace the back of this ghost
And swing theses echoes around
I’d dip into life
Into scarlet, into faces, into little drops of paint
Until you, my stranger, knew me
And shy the curtains back
Not scare the sun
Not to scare your eyes
From the weight of
Watching for you, waiting for me.

E. Kelly's Spiritual Journey on "We are all One"
"WE FLOW THROUGH one another's bloodstreams, and we see through one another's eyes.  We are all locked into a matrix we think is circumstance, in a precise calculus of time.  There is no way we can be separate.
WHEN WE REALIZE that we all are one, we won't have wars.  We won't have depressions.  We won't have such great difficulties.  We certainly will not live in the way we live now.  The way we live now is unbelievable, it is so barbaric."


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